June 20th 2024 22:03 PM
"i trusted you on this day. i felt sorry for you. i felt close to you. and you fucking backstabbed me. you dont deserve one minute of my time. you deserve to be in prison! You are a monster."           

                                                                                                                                                                                L.O. (The terrified Victim)

The Vanishing Messages

 

How My History With Her Disappeared in Real Time

I want to document something that I know happened, but that I can never truly prove.

It was one of the most surreal moments in my entire relationship with her. Never mind the emotional shock of it. Just the practical reality was staggering. Everything was gone. Entire months of shared life vanished. Discussions we had, jokes we made, promises, the first time she said "I love you," our first fight, the intimate moments. All of it erased. She did not even blink. No hesitation. No grief. She felt nothing.

And it happened more than once.

 

I am talking about the sudden and complete disappearance of entire chat histories. Thousands of messages gone within minutes. Not archived. Not hidden. Deleted.

Let me be clear. Discord does not allow bulk deletion. You cannot multi-select messages. You cannot wipe a thread with one command. You have to delete them manually, one by one. I know this because I tried. After she wiped everything, I attempted to do the same. It took me days. Discord is not designed for fast erasure.

 

And yet I watched it happen.

On at least three occasions, I saw her messages vanish in rapid succession. They cascaded up the screen like dominoes falling in reverse. Dozens disappeared every second. Entire pages wiped out faster than I could scroll or screenshot. It was too fast to be human. It was precise. Cold. Systematic.

The first time it happened, I doubted myself. She said I imagined it, and for a moment I believed her. But then it happened again. And again. And by the third time, I knew. I had seen it clearly. And I knew she was lying to me. She always had been. I simply was not important enough to deserve the truth.

 

Each deletion came before or after a critical moment. An argument. A confession. An emotional shift. I confronted her. Asked directly. She denied it every time. Her excuses became routine.

“I have a very fast laptop.”
“I never deleted anything. You’re imagining things.”
“Where would I even find a bot like that?”

But I knew what I saw. And I saw it more than once. When I noticed the deletions beginning, I could predict what came next. She would block me. She would vanish again. Her disappearing messages became an early warning system for her silent treatments.

I do not know exactly how she did it. I never saw her run a script. I never saw the software. But I have since learned what is possible. There are tools that allow bulk deletion on Discord. Some of them are open-source. Many only require a browser token and basic technical knowledge. They are not officially endorsed, but they are widely used by those who know where to look.

 

To this day, she has never admitted using one.

She has admitted to other things. Emotional manipulation. Stalking. Even incest. But not this. She would not touch this subject. And that is exactly why I believe it mattered to her. Deletion was not just an action. It was a tactic.

She erased things without emotion. Without hesitation. The chats I valued meant nothing to her. They were props. She performed affection when it suited her goals, and when it no longer did, she wiped the stage clean. Narcissists do not feel attachment. They do not grieve what they destroy. To them, other people exist only to serve a function.

I believe she used a bot. I believe this tool was essential to her method of control. If you erase the past quickly enough, you get to define the present. You remove contradiction. You remove evidence. You rewrite the story. You become the victim and the hero. The real victim is reduced to silence.

And when I told her how much those chats had meant to me, she replied:

“Just some stupid chat messages. Sorry if it makes you sad, but we will make real memories when you are here IRL. .”

 

Below: Some of the various accounts and user names she used on Discord. All created within days of each other. For what purpose? I do know that she is back on the PIKA platform. Creating AI videos for her new employer using the one million credits she received for being a part of the Beta test group.

Never believe a narcissist

 

June 2024

 

Ms Delete
She told me she’d deleted everything. Swore on it. The photos. The videos. The messages I sent during moments of emotional collapse, when she had deliberately pushed me to the edge and I’d broken down and lashed out. Psychologists call this phenomena 'reactive abuse'.

The fact that I had reacted in such an awful manner really worked on my conscience, as i had never said such things to anyone in my life. Because of the tremendous guilt I felt I again allowed her to come back into my life. She swore she had deleted everything of mine. She promised it was all gone.

And she wanted to know if i was willing to do the same, as a gesture of goodwill and for her be assured of her "Privacy." Narcissists are impatient by nature, like little children. When she mentioned this to me less than five minutes after our first talk in days, I said I needed time to think about it. I was suspicious.

And I had good reason to be. Because it wasn’t true.

 

I posted a single documentary video I had already made on narcissism, no names, no face, no identifying details, and she exploded. Threats, ultimatums, blackmail. All in minutes. I had made the video to test her. To see if she was really going to keep her word. But her reaction said it all. She instantly blackmailed me with my emails, photos messages and videos. Same one she had just sworn had been deleted. 

That’s when I knew: she still had everything.

 

She hadn’t deleted a thing. She was keeping it all in reserve like weapons she could fire the moment I didn't do as she liked. The situation even forced me to lie. I told her I’d deleted everything of hers when I hadn’t. And honestly, I’m glad I didn’t. Because this moment proved exactly what I feared all along: She never told me the truth. Not when she said she loved me. Not when she said there was no-one else. Not when she swore she wanted to meet me. Not when she said she wanted to bear my child and marry me.

For her, deletion was about the power to live in a fantasy of which she was the author.

It was about dominance. About control. About silencing me, and keeping the power to destroy me if I ever spoke again.
(She later admitted that she has never deleted a single thing she received from me. Nothing.)  Kept it as evidence to use against me at a later date. That is how narcissists think. As soon as I realised that, I too was forced to keep everything. I thank God I did. 

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