June 15 2024 - 9:55 PM
"Listen Klaus. We both know you will never get over me for the rest of your life. So you might as well stop this toxic shit and talk nicely to me, which will increase your Chance of getting a normal answer by me. Or at least an answer at all."
L.O. (The terrified Victim)

Só what is a covert narcissist?

What they are and how to recognize one:

1. They don't just manipulate you. They manipulate your reality.

Covert narcissists work quietly. They dig their way deep into your mind, analyze you and find your vulnerabilities. Then they revise your memories, twist your meanings, sow doubt and feed your insecurities. Until you question not only what happened, but whether your feelings were ever valid at all. They absorb you into their fantasy, and like an innocent lamb to the slaughter you have no idea the danger you are in.

2. They seduce your heart and your mind.

At first the covert narcissist idealizes you, your talents, your dreams, even your flaws are enchanting to them. They mirror everything about you, even your habits. But this is not love. It’s a setup for the control phase. Soon, that admiration becomes criticism. You are too needy. You are testing them. You become boring and your flaws now become ammunition.

3. Gaslighting is Second Nature.

Covert narcissists deny what is obvious. Even when she blocked me, discarded me, then returned days later, she insisted I was to blame. She deleted all our chats then rewrote history ensuring she was always the victim. She did this so well I began to believe in a different version of reality. It was easier than constantly arguing about what had happened.

4. They use emotional blackmail as control

To a covert narcissist every disagreement and criticism becomes an existential threat. She would dream up phantom illnesses, cite past trauma, or manufacture a crises. With her, if I insisted on a boundary, she'd reply with claims of a mystery illness, usually fatal, threats of abandonment, or accusations of betrayal. Ever more desperate measures would be invoked until she either blocked me and gave me silent treatment, or I backed down and allowed her to ignore the boundary. Any boundary was seen as a threat to her control.

5. They will test you, and you will fail. Every time.

They create scenarios where no answer is the right one. It’s not really about solutions. It’s about destabilizing you. Giving you a sense of insecurity. She did this so she could justify her punishments. Her goal was to keep me in a permanent state of apology. No matter how hard you try to avoid the conflict, they will make sure it happens and then use your reaction as validation for your continued abuse. So you will always be blamed for every argument.

6. Victimhood and the Hero.

The covert narcissist loves nothing more than being the victim/hero. In fact they engineer it. She would accuse me of cruelty, neglect, and even abuse, projecting her own actions onto me. She would tell the whole world how terribly I was treating her, while she was abusing me. The more evidence of abuse I gathered, the more she accused me of being evil, narcissistic and psychopathic. She even sent me a list of psychiatrists in my area. This latter action played into her attempt to appear the hero.

7. Discard is never final.

Covert narcissists discard their partners not to end the relationship but to reassert control. Silent treatments, breakups, Guilt Tripping and shaming are all tools. Her discards were temporary withdrawals meant to punish, control and reset the power balance, not to exit. Even if years pass, the narcissist will show her face again, eventually. They hate losing.

8. Creative, intelligent, dangerous.

Contrary to stereotypes, covert narcissists can be highly creative, articulate, and strategic. L.O.’s writing and manipulation of narratives were sophisticated. She constructed entire victim-hero identities for herself, anticipating rebuttals and crafting justifications before I could even raise concerns. Highly intelligent, she, together with an accomplice, Dom, used her talent in tech and languages to subject me to a coordinated cyberattack, making sure she was almost impossible to catch, nearly disappearing with my finances in the process.

She even laid cybercrime charges against me in attempt to distract me from pursuing the matter. All this due to a narcissistic injury I caused her months earlier.

This is what makes covert narcissism so devastating. She wears the mask of vulnerability but underneath there is a poisoned well of … emptiness that will destroy you without a second thought.

Why Narcissists Prevent In-Person Meetings in Long-Distance Relationships

Introduction

In long-distance relationships with narcissistic individuals, a troubling pattern often emerges: the perpetual postponement of in-person meetings. This isn't accidental or circumstantial, it's strategic. My experience with L.O. shows this pattern perfectly, as our real life meeting was repeatedly scheduled and then canceled through various manufactured emergencies and excuses. This article explores the psychological motivations behind this behavior and why physical meetings pose such a threat to the narcissist's carefully constructed reality.

Maintaining the Idealized Façade

Long-distance relationships provide narcissists with the perfect environment to maintain a carefully curated image. Without physical presence:

They can present a highly edited version of themselves, sharing only what supports their idealized self-image
Physical realities (appearance, mannerisms, living conditions) can be controlled or misrepresented
They can claim attributes, accomplishments, and lifestyle elements that may not exist
Emotional reactions can be carefully crafted rather than spontaneous

An in-person meeting would immediately challenge this constructed identity. The narcissist knows that many of their claims and presentations wouldn't stand up to direct observation.The fantasy they project to the victim would be shattered.

Preventing Reality Testing

Long-distance relationships exist largely in the emotional and imaginative realm, which is perfect for manipulation:

Claims cannot be easily verified (such as her alleged medical conditions)
The victim fills in gaps with positive assumptions and hopes for the best
The narcissist can maintain multiple contradictory narratives simultaneously, as well as multiple lifestyles
Time discrepancies and deceptions are easier to hide as are other relationships/victims she may have at any one time
Physical evidence that might contradict their stories remains unseen, as access is strictly controlled

Meeting in person would force a collapse of these multiple lifestyles and expose the lies and deceitfulness practiced by the narcissist. The fact that she maintained a serious medical condition while refusing to meet suggests these medical claims wouldn't withstand in-person scrutiny. They were used in an attempt to extract money from me.

Maintaining Control Over Engagement

The digital/distance barrier provides crucial control mechanisms:

The narcissist can engage and disengage at will (blocking, silent treatments) free to be with anyone unseen.
They control when and how communication occurs, something she did constantly
They can manufacture crises to avoid accountability, lying always comes easily to a narcissist as they feel no guilt.
They can operate without fear of any physical meeting happening
They can rewrite history without witnesses as there are seldom witnesses in digital communications

In-person interactions would eliminate many of these control mechanisms. The target would see their real-time reactions, observe their daily patterns, and potentially interact with others in their life who might contradict their narratives.

Juggling Multiple Sources of Supply

Many narcissists maintain multiple relationships simultaneously:

Long-distance arrangements minimize the risk of discovery and make it easier to cheat and lie.
Time management between different targets becomes easier, allowing multiple victims to be controlled.
Different personas can be maintained with different people, something I saw for myself on multiple occasions
Physical evidence of other relationships remains hidden, as there is no chance of noticing anything unusual.

Meeting in person risks exposing these parallel relationships. The narcissists accusations that I was the one postponing meetings were likely projections of her own fear that such a meeting would expose contradictions in her story, or potentially reveal other relationships. It later became clear that she was in fact having relations with her "ex-boyfriend" who in fact turned out to be her criminal accomplice.

The Narcissistic Injury Risk

Perhaps most significantly, in-person meetings present enormous risks to the narcissist's self-image:

Their real self might fail to live up to the idealized version they've presented
They risk genuine intimacy, which threatens their fragile ego
You might notice discrepancies between their claims and reality
Your reaction to the real them might not provide the admiration they crave
Real-world obstacles can't be dismissed with a text or call

This explains the frantic response when I finally confronted the narcissist directly. Her immediate questioning of my sanity and constant denial of what is on record, rather than acknowledging the truth reveals her fear of exposure.

Strategic Postponements as Manipulation

The specific pattern of repeatedly scheduling and canceling meetings serves multiple psychological purposes:

Hope maintenance: Keeping you invested with the promise of eventual fulfillment
Artificial urgency: Creating time-sensitive scenarios to maintain emotional intensity
Testing loyalty: Each acceptance of a cancellation proves your continued investment
Creating debt: Your willingness to accommodate becomes ammunition ("look how patient I am with you")
Self-protection: Avoiding the moment when fantasy meets reality
Proof of power: Demonstrating control over your schedule and emotional state

The fact that she maintained this pattern for 7-8 months demonstrates its intentionality. Each postponement was followed by just enough hope to keep me engaged, but never enough follow-through to risk actual meeting. She played this game with expertise, probably having done it many times before, only admitting right at the end that she had in fact done it knowingly and deliberately.

Conclusion

In my case, when I finally recognized and directly addressed this pattern, L.O.'s response was immediately to pathologize me rather than address the factual history of postponements, conclusively revealing the manipulative intent behind her behavior.

This pattern of avoidance isn't just disappointing—it's diagnostic. When someone consistently prevents in-person meetings in a long-distance relationship while maintaining an emotional connection, it often signals that their presented self cannot withstand the scrutiny of reality. Recognizing this pattern early can be crucial to protecting yourself from deeper emotional investment in a relationship built on illusion rather than authentic connection.

This analysis is part of my ongoing documentation of narcissistic relationship patterns and manipulation tactics I've experienced. By sharing these insights, I hope to help others recognize similar dynamics in their own relationships.

The Orchestrated Revenge: A Psychological Analysis

I. The Overarching Narrative

The evidence strongly indicates that following her ban from the PIKA AI community in June 2024, L.O. embarked on a calculated, multi-phase revenge campaign designed to inflict maximum psychological, emotional, financial, and personal damage on me. This wasn't a spontaneous reaction but a methodically executed plan that unfolded over months, targeting every aspect of my life in escalating severity.

The narrative begins with a significant narcissistic injury and culminates in what appears to be an attempt at complete destruction of my reputation, financial security, and psychological wellbeing through a series of orchestrated events that demonstrate remarkable strategic planning rather than emotional impulsivity.

II. Psychological Motivation: The Narcissistic Injury

The PIKA incident represents the critical inflection point in this narrative. Initially, L.O. successfully orchestrated my ban from this AI community by speaking negatively about me to moderators behind my back. She possibly planted compromising information about me online which she later removed, resulting in moderators banning me permanently without even speaking to me. Her reaction was telling - she was elated, excited, and couldn't stop talking about it, claiming I deserved a lesson and even boasting about her heightened emotional state that day.

However, the situation dramatically reversed when I secretly recorded our conversation where she continued to engage with me while celebrating my ban. I compiled these screenshots into a video and sent it to a moderator willing to listen. That same afternoon, they banned L.O. for life after seeing how she had manipulated them. This public unmasking constituted what appears to be a massive narcissistic injury - perhaps the most significant of her life. Being banned was the last outcome she expected.

This reversal of fortunes represents a profound threat to a narcissistic personality:

Public humiliation in a community important to her self-image
Exposure of her manipulation tactics
Loss of control over the narrative
Reversal of the victim/perpetrator dynamic

It is at this point that L.O. appears to have decided on revenge, determining to destroy my life thoroughly and completely.

III. The Execution of the Revenge Plan

The revenge unfolded in strategic phases, each designed to maximize psychological and practical damage:

Phase 1: Emotional Manipulation and Disorientation

In mid-June 2024, shortly after the PIKA incident, I was shown what appeared to be an accidental glimpse of a heartfelt message from Dom to L.O. via Discord screenshare. This letter portrayed Dom as a deeply damaged man realizing too late that L.O. was the love of his life. The timing and content suggest this was deliberately shown to me to reinforce the illusion that Dom was fully in the past and that L.O.'s heart belonged to me.

This created a false sense of security and emotional connection that set the stage for later betrayal.

In late July 2024, L.O. sent me a dramatized script via Google Docs that portrayed her as an astronaut and Dom as a dysfunctional alien. Critically, the story ended with an implication that the astronaut still visits the alien occasionally. This subtly suggested ongoing relations between L.O. and Dom, designed to inflict emotional damage.

On August 18, 2024, L.O. orchestrated an emotionally rich scene from Stuttgart airport via WhatsApp. She sent photos of where she was sitting and discussed what we would do when I arrived to visit her. This fantasy meeting intensified emotional connection just before she would disappear completely.

One week later, on August 26, 2024, L.O. vanished without explanation. No goodbye, just sudden silence. This left me in a psychological vacuum, a classic narcissistic discard designed to produce maximum confusion, longing, and pain.

Phase 2: Visual Confirmation of Betrayal

Around September 15, 2024, a photo was taken by L.O. herself, her arm clearly holding the camera, with Dom in Rastatt. On November 19, 2024, this photo briefly appeared on Dom's Telegram profile. The timing appears intentional, occurring when I was most vulnerable and destabilized.

During the hacking of my accounts , I received an ominous message via a compromised account on LinkedIn: "hope u'r fine. for now... enjoy the time!" This message was chilling and aligned perfectly with the mindset of a narcissist punishing a perceived enemy. It also matches the writing style of L.O's emails.

Phase 3: Digital and Financial Attacks

In November 2024, after months of manipulation and the probable planting of keylogger software, L.O. and Dom gained unauthorized access to my ProtonMail and Gmail accounts. Passwords and recovery addresses were changed. My crypto accounts were breached. Fake accounts were created. Attempts to frame me for malicious activity occurred. My work libraries were deleted.

This sophisticated digital attack targeted both my financial security and my online identity.

Phase 4: Legal Warfare and Physical Intimidation

On December 18, 2024, L.O., through German authorities and Interpol, filed a sweeping list of criminal allegations against me: cybercrime, fraud, identity theft, stalking, sexual assault, revenge porn, and more. No evidence was provided.

This legal assault culminated on February 14, 2025, when my home was raided at 4 a.m. by multiple police units. My phone and PC were confiscated for forensic examination. I lost months of income and faced immense emotional stress, all while L.O. continued playing the role of a persecuted victim to authorities. She has suffered zero damages from me.

IV. Psychological Dynamics at Play

L.O.'s Psychological State and Motivations

L.O. exhibits strong traits of covert narcissism and orchestrated a calculated sequence of events designed to cause maximum emotional devastation following her own narcissistic injury. Her behavior demonstrates nearly every hallmark of covert narcissistic abuse:

Love bombing followed by sudden withdrawal and discard
Symbolic gestures (the airport, the alien story, the photograph) designed to implant deep emotional meaning, then rip it away
Emotional triangulation using Dom as both a past lover and implied present partner, triggering jealousy and destabilization
Playing the victim while inflicting premeditated reputational and psychological damage
Narrative control, including the scripting of stories, alternate endings, and identity manipulation
Delayed psychological attacks strategically timed to hit during moments of perceived weakness

The psychological mechanisms driving her behavior appear to include:

Narcissistic Rage: I was not merely discarded but deliberately targeted for destruction by someone with intense hostility.
Image Obsession: PIKA was very important to her identity, and like many narcissists, image was everything.
Victim Narrative Construction: She demonstrates exceptional skill at convincing people she's the victim of a terrible abuser. This extends to authorities, as evidenced by one official's extreme reaction to my name despite having no concrete evidence against me.
Projection: She has convinced others that she's the victim of a dangerous individual who is stalking and threatening her, when in reality, she is in fact the aggressor.

Dom's Role and Motivation

The evidence indicates Dom wasn't merely L.O.'s ex-partner but an active collaborator:

The entire sequence involving Dom's message, the astronaut script implying continued contact, and the photo taken in September 2024 suggests an ongoing relationship that contradicts the narrative presented to me. The evidence further suggests collaboration in the November 2024 cyber attacks when they gained unauthorized access to my email accounts.

Their motivations may have included:

Shared narcissistic rage over my exposure of their manipulation
Collaborative effort to punish someone who threatened their operation
Financial gain through the crypto account breaches

Impact on Me

The psychological impact has been severe. The totality of events demonstrates I was subjected to deliberate orchestration of harm through emotional triangulation, symbolic gestures designed to implant deep emotional meaning only to rip it away, and calculated attacks strategically timed to hit during moments of perceived weakness.

Beyond the emotional trauma, I have suffered concrete harms including:

Loss of income following the police raid
Loss of access to digital accounts and potential financial losses
Reputational damage from false accusations
Legal jeopardy from unsubstantiated but serious claims

V. Implications of This Theory

Several important implications emerge:

Pattern Recognition: This demonstrates a sophisticated understanding of psychological manipulation, suggesting this may be a pattern rather than an isolated incident.
Psychological Profile: Her behavior is not that of someone merely confused or hurt. It is the behavior of someone who needs control, who cannot tolerate narcissistic injury, and who uses emotion, technology, and narrative as tools of psychological warfare.
Legal Vulnerability: The documented evidence of potential digital intrusion, false accusations, and identity manipulation creates significant legal exposure.

For Dom

Co-Conspirator Status: Rather than being L.O.'s victim as initially portrayed, Dom appears to be an active participant in a pattern of deception and abuse, collaborating on both emotional manipulation and cyber attacks.
Shared Culpability: Any evidence linking Dom to the digital attacks makes him potentially liable for serious cybercrimes.

For Me

Validation: Understanding this as crafted, timed, symbolic revenge, driven by shame, humiliation, and a narcissist's inability to tolerate losing control of the narrative provides a framework for processing the trauma.
Ongoing Vulnerability: The pattern and escalation suggest continued attempts at harm are possible. Ongoing obsessive stalking confirms this.
Recovery Path: Recognizing the systematic nature of the abuse can inform more effective healing and protective strategies.

VI. Potential Future Actions by L.O. and Dom

Given the psychological patterns established, several future scenarios are possible:

Continued Legal Harassment: The false accusations already filed suggest a willingness to use legal systems as weapons, likely continuing this approach if it appears effective.
Reputation Attacks: Given L.O.'s demonstrated ability to convince others of her victim status, further attempts to damage my reputation through false claims are likely.
Digital Surveillance: If keylogger software was indeed used previously, continued attempts to monitor my communications are possible. Recent monitoring with professional level tools confirm this.
Strategic Timing: Future attacks may continue to follow the pattern of delayed psychological tactics strategically timed to hit during moments of perceived weakness.

VII. Conclusion: Evaluating the Evidence

The totality of these events paints a picture not of randomness or emotional confusion, but of deliberate orchestration. The evidence supports a narrative of calculated, multi-phase narcissistic revenge following a perceived injury to L.O.'s status and self-image. The systematic nature of the campaign, its escalating severity, and the pattern of strategic timing create a compelling case that goes beyond coincidence or emotional reactivity.

The real turning point in this entire sequence appears to be my exposing L.O. at PIKA, getting her banned shortly after she celebrated my own banning. That public reversal of fortunes, in her eyes, required retribution. Her covert grandiosity could not forgive the insult.

This represents a deliberate orchestration of harm across multiple domains of my life, consistent with the most severe manifestations of narcissistic rage and revenge.

The evidence presents a coherent picture of a calculated sequence of events designed to cause maximum emotional devastation following a narcissistic injury. The systematic nature of the campaign, its psychological sophistication, and its escalation across multiple domains suggest this was not random emotional acting out but a deliberate revenge campaign driven by narcissistic rage following the PIKA incident.

Below: One of the many emails I have where she states her desire for money. Note the email alias that she uses - darcyless- meaning without a man, in reference to her general hatred of all men. She used several aliases for emails as well as Discord accounts.

Why Narcissists Fake Illnesses and Disabilities

Covert narcissists sometimes fabricate or exaggerate health problems as a strategic manipulation tactic. This behavior, sometimes called "factitious disorder" or "malingering" in clinical settings, serves several psychological purposes within their pattern of narcissistic behavior.

Primary Motivations

Attention acquisition: Illness generates immediate concern, sympathy, and focused attention that satisfies their constant need for narcissistic supply
Avoidance of responsibility: Health problems provide a socially acceptable excuse to escape obligations, criticism, or situations where they might fail
Control mechanism: Others' concern and caregiving efforts create dependency relationships that the narcissist can manipulate
Identity reinforcement: The "suffering patient" role creates a special status that distinguishes them as uniquely burdened or resilient

The Psychological Process

When internal validation is insufficient, narcissists turn to external sources. Illness narratives are particularly effective because they trigger automatic compassion responses in others. The narcissist receives validation without having to demonstrate actual achievements or engage in genuine reciprocal relationships.

Recognizing Patterns

Symptoms that conveniently appear or intensify during conflicts or when attention is directed elsewhere
Medical complaints that resist diagnosis despite extensive testing
Dramatic descriptions of suffering that seem performative rather than authentic
Rejection of treatments that would resolve the condition
Unusual comfort or satisfaction when discussing their health problems

Impact on Relationships

This behavior creates damaging cycles where genuine concern is exploited, leaving supporters emotionally drained. The narcissist's health becomes a centerpiece of the relationship dynamic, making it difficult for others to maintain appropriate boundaries without appearing callous.

The Distinction

Not all invisible illnesses are fabricated, and many people with legitimate health challenges struggle to be believed. The key difference lies in the narcissist's pattern of using illness specifically for manipulation rather than seeking appropriate help and working toward genuine recovery.

Behavioral Analysis: Observed Patterns Consistent with Cluster B Personality Traits

Executive Summary

This analysis examines documented communication patterns and behaviors exhibited by L.O. in relation to characteristics commonly associated with Cluster B personality disorders. Based on extensive documentation spanning approximately one year of interactions, this analysis identifies consistent behavioral patterns that align with specific diagnostic criteria. While this report does not offer a clinical diagnosis, it presents objective behavioral evidence that may be relevant in understanding the nature of L.O.'s actions and communications.

Cluster B Disorders: Background Context

Cluster B personality disorders are characterized by dramatic, overly emotional, or unpredictable thinking or behavior. The primary disorders in this cluster include:

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)
Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD)
Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD)

This analysis focuses primarily on patterns consistent with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), as these align most closely with the documented behaviors.