Future Faking: When Promises Become Weapons

 

The Germany Visit: Future Faking and Rewriting the Narrative

 

Overview

This section examines the long arc of contradictory behavior surrounding L.O.'s repeated invitations for me to visit her in Germany. What began as affection and anticipation eventually collapsed into evasion, blame-shifting, and a revealing pattern of psychological manipulation.

The material presented here does not accuse L.O. of a specific crime. Rather, it establishes a consistent behavioral dynamic: repeated promises made with emotional intensity, followed by sudden reversals, implausible excuses, and eventual vilification of me for reacting to emotional betrayal. It is a textbook example of what psychologists term “future faking” , a pattern common among individuals with narcissistic traits, in which a false future is dangled to secure present emotional control.

 

The Invitation That “Wasn’t”

On July 22, 2024, L.O. sent me a signed formal invitation letter to visit her in Germany. The email accompanying the letter included this statement:

“Please note that this letter of invitation is not an admission that I made any statements that were false or misleading to any officials in the past. I hereby trust that you will not abuse my invitation to cause me any harm or duress in real life (IRL). Should such an eventuality occur, this attached letter will serve no purpose in your defense. I love you.”

This message carried a strange tone. It shows that even in  romantic gestures, L.O.  anticipated harm and set conditions, attempting to nullify accountability in advance. It also seemed to me to be a trap. Lure me there, set me up and then, once the police was being told about all the terrible things I had forced her to do I would have no recourse to the very document that proved that she had a) Lied to police on previous occasions, and b) was the cause of me being in Germany in the first place. Would she have done such a thing? Of course! She betrayed me more than once, She had me banned, got me fired, had police confiscate my only means of making an income, and had hacked my accounts while sending me messages meant to demean and humiliate me. She is still actively trying to have me put in prison.  She would not hesitate to set me up so I could be falsely arrested on her say so. 

A Pattern of Invitation and Withdrawal

Over a period of 11 months, L.O. invited me to Germany at least eight times. Each time, she either canceled or emotionally withdrew when travel plans were close to being finalized.

Evidence:

• A December 2023 voice message in which she expresses a clear desire to meet in person, saying she wants "nothing more" than for them to be together in 2024

• An email from August 2024 in which she acknowledges that she deliberately postponed their meetings “at the last minute… numerous times”

• A February 13, 2024 voice recording where her sudden hesitation emerges only after I confirmed I had secured a passport and was ready to book a ticket

• Messages encouraging me to “make more money” and come to Germany soon, accompanied by passive-aggressive criticisms for not doing so earlier

This timeline demonstrates a clear pattern of control through ambiguity. The trip was always both encouraged and sabotaged, just enough to generate emotional dependency but never allowed to resolve into reality.

The “Apology” That Exposes More Than It Heals

Following her final withdrawal in late August 2024, L.O. sent a lengthy message in which she simultaneously apologized and rewrote the history of the relationship. A key excerpt reads:

“Since then I kept postponing… I could not let you go. But I could not let you come either. I was caught between loving you and hating you… I am not evil. I am just too weak to listen to my reason… I should have told you that I am not, and never was really ready to meet you after your first Terror mails in January.”

But the historical record contradicts this self-narrative:

1. She was still romantically involved with Dom. A photo taken in Rastatt around September 15th 2024 confirms their relationship during a period she was supposedly focusing on her new job.  I suspect she was planning the hacking of November 2024.

2. A voice message from December 2023 proves she was actively looking forward to our 2024 meeting. Nothing was said about "needing more phone calls" or any "toxic messages"

3. She initiated the idea of me coming to Germany, not the other way around. There is no evidence I ever coerced or pressured her into meeting me. I merely wanted clarity on the subject. 

4. She repeatedly denied deliberately postponing the meetings, until the final message, where she finally admitted that's exactly what she had done,. 

5. She displayed dual-mode behavior which is well documented in Cluster B pathology and often used to manipulate the perception of third parties

Emotional and Financial Consequences

I incurred:

• Financial loss from planned travel arrangements aborted at the last minute

• Psychological and physical distress from being caught in an endless loop of hope and sabotage

• Emotional guilt as a result of being framed as the abuser whenever she used silent treatments to abuse him.

I eventually ceased all travel planning months before the final collapse of the relationship, not out of disinterest, but out of recognition that the process was being used to emotionally destabilize me. I knew a long time ago that there would never be any meeting. 

Conclusion

There is no credible evidence that I ever pressured, coerced, or abused L.O. in relation to the Germany trip. All available communications will show me attempting to finalize arrangements in good faith, only to be met with sudden reversals, denials, and shifting explanations.

The behavior L.O. displayed is consistent with future faking, gaslighting, and narrative control, core elements of narcissistic abuse cycles. The invitation to Germany was not a step toward real intimacy. It was a theatrical device to maintain emotional leverage.

In the end, the promised visit to Germany never happened, not because of fear or external threats, but because L.O. never intended for it to happen.

Closing Reflection: There Was Never Going to Be a Meeting

 

At some point, the truth crystallized.

There was never going to be a meeting in Germany. Not in February or in July or September. Not ever. From the very first moment L.O. spoke to me, she knew we would never meet. Our meeting was never part of her plan. It was a mirage, dangled in front of me like a prize I could almost touch, but never claim. The disgust I heard in her voice, especially when she spoke of "the physical" as though describing something foul, told me everything I needed to know. She was never planning to see me. Not once. Not even for a second.

Above: A transcript of the message I received when she believed I was getting ready to come to Germany. The hesitation is evident in her voice. She never had any intention of meeting me. She played me for close on a year. This is narcissistic future faking.

 

What she did want, (what she truly fed on), was my hope, my willingness to believe her promises, rearrange my life, and make myself vulnerable. That, I think, was the point. And had I flown to Germany, and I nearly did, nothing would have changed.

I could see it all before it happened. I’d be standing at her door waiting. But she wouldn’t answer. She would have already vanished that morning, turned off her phone, hiding. She’d wait, knowing I’d eventually have to leave. Then, just as the planes wheels touched down in Johannesburg, I would get a call. “I was scared… I panicked… But I love you.” A convincing voice. “Come back please. I swear this time I'll meet you.”

And if I boarded another plane she’d vanish again. And again after that. Each time with the same rehearsed regret: "Klaus, I’m sorry. I don’t know why I do this. I swear I’ll meet you this time. Please… trust me."

But I’d seen the pattern. There was never going to be a meeting. There was only ever going to be the promise of one, and the slow erosion of my sanity as I waited for something she knew would never arrive. That is what future faking is. And that is who she is. A future faking covert narcissist.

I don't say this lightly.

But 200 plus articles read by 800 000 people exclusively on narcissism mean I do know something about the subject. I will be all too happy to have myself examined by a panel of random psychologists if she would do the same. But just as she is unwilling to show her face, she wouldn't subject herself to any exam that could show her to be a narcissist. She knows she would fail and her mask would come off to reveal the real non-entity inside. The predator would be revealed. 

 

Read More

If I were the psychopathic, death threatening stalker she accuses me of being, explain why she would ever invite me over for a visit? 
I believe the 'legalese' language is an obvious attempt to excuse the fact that she lied to police on earlier occasions. I also believe that this letter was meant to trap me into coming to Germany in order to have me arrested.