Realization

 

When I realized i had been played

It's a hard thing to admit. Nobody wants to say "I got played". Especially not by someone who's half your age. It's embarrassing. I had no idea what a covert narcissist was. She seemed nice enough when we met, intelligent, enthusiastic, funny and charming. Little did I know that it was all an act, designed to suck me in, an act she had performed many times before. Listening to her talk she came across as vulnerable, and it sounded like every man she'd ever met had abused her in  some way or another. I felt an urge to protect her. 

 

But it was all an act. Lies and pretense. She said she needed $20,000 for an operation, that she couldn't afford it, but that she was saving up for it. I found out later that the procedure costs at most $3,000 to $5,000. At first I believed her. Why wouldn't I?  But as time went on I began to see a darker side of her, a side I didn't want to see, and so I ignored it.

When you're 60 you don't get many women half your age hitting on you, especially not as hard as this one was hitting on me.  Sending me explicit photographs, openly telling me most intimate details of her private life, engaging me in explicit sexual chats. All an act. Performed without emotion or thought of consequences. For months, I believed I was experiencing genuine sexual intimacy with someone who shared my desires and fantasies. All just an act.

"My pussy is exhausted... you are incredible. I tell all my friends about our chats and they're so jealous."

The truth was far more disturbing: She was researching and cataloguing my deepest vulnerabilities while remaining completely aloof from any involvement. What I was told was sexual shyness was actually strategic emotional protection. What felt like an intimate connection was calculated psychological warfare conducted by way of pretense. Looking back now it's obvious. But back then I wanted it to be true.

She would initiate explicit conversations, then claim she was "too shy" to take part verbally. I found myself writing elaborate sexual scenarios then essentially performing a one-man show believing I was building an intimate connection. The coldest aspect was her strategic validation afterward. Comments like "that was amazing", " you are incredible!"and fabricated stories about friends being "jealous" were calculated psychological rewards designed to keep me performing for her entertainment while she remained untouched.

 

The Phone Deception

With voice communication, the manipulation became even more extreme. She'd demand intimate phone calls, then immediately mute her microphone, forcing me to voice entire sexual scenarios alone. I was expected to perform both parts of our "interaction" while she remained completely silent promising that she would be different "in real life". The realization that I had essentially been masturbating alone while she was probably laughing at my performance was devastating. Every moment I thought we were connecting, she was actually conducting research on my psychological triggers and vulnerabilities.

L.O. would casually discuss degrading sex acts, describe graphic practices in detail, and discuss scenarios involving 'marking' and ownership, all while maintaining she was too shy for normal intimate participation.

Her shock that I hadn't engaged in certain humiliating acts wasn't genuine surprise, it was boundary testing designed to see how far she could push me psychologically. These weren't expressions of sexual desire; they were strategic probes to determine what level of psychological control she could achieve.

 

Data Collection

While I believed I was impressing her with creativity and building sexual chemistry, she was actually cataloguing my psychological triggers, building a  manipulation playbook, collecting potential ammunition for future use against me. By remaining emotionally and physically distant while pretending involvement, she never revealed her own vulnerabilities, avoided any genuine display's, and maintained psychological control. The fabricated evidence of participation were all designed to maintain the illusion of mutual satisfaction while she remained completely protected and uninvested. I even bought her a vibrating toy which i could control. It conveniently "broke" the first time I wanted to use it. Understanding her sexual behavior patterns revealed someone who viewed sexuality purely as a strategic weapon rather than human connection. She was willing to discuss any extreme act because none of it was about genuine desire, it was all about achieving psychological control and dominance.

A Dangerous Predator

Someone capable of such sexual manipulation while remaining detached represents a dangerous form of predator. She wasn't seeking pleasure or connection; she was conducting psychological experiments. Someone who creates multiple fake accounts, conducts international surveillance campaigns, files false police reports, and discusses extreme sexual acts in graphic detail is not shy, they're strategically protecting themselves while exploiting others.

Her "shyness" only appeared when genuine vulnerability or authentic participation was required. When it served her manipulation goals, she displayed no hesitation whatsoever in crossing boundaries, suggesting extreme scenarios, or discussing graphic details. What I experienced wasn't sexual dysfunction or inexperience, it was the deliberate weaponization of human sexuality for psychological control. She had identified that sexual intimacy creates powerful psychological bonds and vulnerability, then systematically exploited that knowledge while remaining completely immune to its effects herself.

Every aspect of our sexual interaction was designed to extract maximum psychological investment from me while providing nothing authentic in return. Typical narcissistic dynamic. Realizing that months of what felt like intimate connection were actually elaborate psychological theater was initially crushing. This sexual manipulation was part of a comprehensive operation where L.O. consistently positioned herself to receive maximum emotional investment while providing minimal authentic engagement. 

Sexual manipulation through false intimacy represents one of the most psychologically damaging forms of abuse because it exploits our most fundamental needs for connection and vulnerability. When she weaponizes sexuality she creates a particularly cruel form of psychological torture disguised as romantic interaction. She saw my needs as opportunities for manipulation and control.