August 2024

The Discard Phase

The final phase of the narcissistic abuse cycle is known as the “discard phase.” Earlier that month, L.O. had contacted Discord about mass-deleting her chat history, clearly preparing for what was to come.

Every move was meant to be surgical, but she wielded her strategy like a meat cleaver, and it left a trail that was easy to follow. As far back as June, during her job interview for the Media Marketing Manager position at Germany’s longest-running science fiction franchise, she had already “warned” her prospective employer about the “crazy stalker from Africa.” A preemptive strike designed to neutralize any future attempt I might make to warn her next target.

Then, on August 26th, 2024, our first anniversary, L.O. finally ghosted me. She blocked every channel of communication and treated me as if I had never existed. As she had so often threatened, she would never speak another word to me again. This is standard behavior for covert narcissists once they realize they are no longer in control.

I had been expecting it, especially after the obvious, almost theatrical future-faking she performed so clumsily at Stuttgart Airport just days before.

Shortly before this final 'act', I received two messages from L.O. In the first, she admits to deliberately postponing our meeting since January while lying to me about it. This is performative theater, and it's easy to tell she is just building a victim narrative while excusing her own immoral actions. She made these messages not as an act of self reflection, but to be able to point to them later and say:"You see? Look what he caused me to feel like!"

I am sharing these messages to prove that she lied. For nearly a year. Yet she kept blaming me for the delays, while she was causing them on purpose. Even the second message, meant to sound like a moment of introspection is nothing more than amateur manipulation. Created for third party readers it is an obvious attempt to subtly place the blame for her "negative self view" on my shoulders. But subtlety was never her strong point. Like an overweight bull in a China shop she had basically zero finesse or tact.

Take for example the second message. It seems more honest than the first, until you realize that only 20 minutes later she was sending me a pre-written legal notice via email threatening me with 'arrest and legal action". She did not have the foresight to think I would keep these time stamped emails. In the very same email her tone is that of the victim, terrified and helpless, showing how easily she put on the 'victim mask'. 

The Setup and the Silence: How She Orchestrated the Final Discard

Overview: The discard did not happen spontaneously. It was the culmination of a long-running psychological operation, deliberately planned and choreographed, executed with precision. It's purpose: to emotionally destroy me and to position herself as the victim in any future telling of events. But she did not count on me recording every single interaction, documenting her manipulation and her attempts at setting herself up as the eventual victim. 

Phase One: Emotional Setup

In the first message she admits to having  lied for almost a year, blaming my response to her constant lying and postponements as the reason for her continued evasiveness. 

The second message is meant to show how she is broken with no self worth, even committing suicidal ideation, and it subtly points the finger at me as being the cause. A covert narcissist is always using plausible deniability as a defense. 

 At the time, I already knew the messages were not really heartfelt, there was no moment of honesty and regret. In reality, they were carefully staged. They were designed for later use: to show others, and to control the narrative.

Those two messages were not about closure. They were tools to support a pre-planned narrative: that I had driven her to psychological collapse. That she was the victim who needed protection.

Phase Two: Total Silence

The next morning, 26 August 2024, she ghosted me. She never spoke to me again. Silence was her strategy. Supposed to leave me in a state of confusion and emotional devastation, and together with my phobia of abandonment it should have caused me to unravel. I was aware of what she was at this point. But I did not know what tactics she was planning on using. She meant to destroy me. And to do that, she struck at precise points of vulnerability with calculated timing.

The 26th of August wasn’t random, it was our first anniversary, a date she knew should carry deep emotional weight for me. The airport scene just days earlier was meant to give me hope, to reignite connection, so that the final discard would tear it away again with maximum emotional force. It had the desired effect of making me react. Had I been more aware of the purpose of her actions I could have prevented my reactive abuse responses. 

Phase Three: The Final Blows

Barely two weeks later, she took a selfie with her 'ex boyfriend' Dom.  He would briefly set it as his profile image on Telegram weeks later during the hacking. This was no accident. She wanted to be sure I saw it. She wanted me to know that she had done all this deliberately. That she had 'won'. But she wasn't done yet.

On November 27th 2024 she sent me the following message from a hacked LinkedIn account:  “hope u’r fine. for now… enjoy the time!” That message was written in her signature style, sent as proof that it was all her doing.  She wanted me to know that none of it had ever been real.  That she'd played me from the start. That she had been a masterful manipulator, worthy of respect. That she was the winner, after all.

Her goal wasn’t just separation, it was destruction. The pain had to be total. The betrayal had to be unmistakable. It wasn’t enough that she discarded me. She had to prove she had always been in control. That I had been her plaything. This was her departing masterpiece.

And she was sure she would win because she had the narrative.

Not Confused

She was fully aware of what she was doing. Cognizant. Not unstable. Just truly and deeply malignant. Sadistic, deliberate, and driven by the satisfaction of knowing I would one day piece it all together.

The 'Dom WhatsApp bait' message in June. The 'alien triangulation' script in July. The 'fake airport scene' on 18 August. The 'dramatic' discard messages on 25 August. Her disappearance on 26 August. The selfie posted in November 2024. The false charges she filed on 18 December 2024. It was all part of her plan for revenge, for the narcissistic injury I had caused her when she was banned from PIKA. 

This was never chaos. It was a plan to destroy my sanity and my life. She did all these things to a 60 year old man, living a modest life in Africa, who had committed the cardinal sin of believing her, of trusting her. These were not random acts. They were all part of the same deliberate operation, emotional manipulation, narrative control, and psychological destabilization.

The Purpose of the Final Messages

The final two messages. Their true purpose was never to repair or explain. They were written as a final act of narrative engineering: an alibi in emotional form. A script for future retelling.

She knew I would keep them. She knew I would re-read them, search them for meaning, question myself, and hopefully be destabilized by the contradiction between the words and her disappearance. She didn’t just ghost me. She launched a psychological strike and walked away without looking back. Discarding me like a piece of worthless trash was her way of letting me know that I didn't even exist for her. That I meant nothing and never did. 

Conclusion: The discard was not a narcissistic collapse. It was a closing scene. A grand act. And like everything she had done since July, it was calculated. She didn’t disappear. She executed. And then she escalated.

She is still executing now.

This formal looking email was received less than a minute after the previous one, proving she had it ready and waiting to send it. Premeditated as was everything else. Everything was planned in advance to cause the maximum amount of emotional pain. It was the last I was to hear from her for a month, at which time I received another email similar to this one. Sterile and full of blame and threats. More performative theatre for another audience. Intended to provoke even more reactive abuse.