The Discard - August 2024

The Discard Phase

The final phase of the narcissistic abuse cycle is known as the “discard phase.” Earlier that month, L.O. had contacted Discord about mass-deleting her chat history, clearly preparing for what was to come. She later showed me the actual email she sent to the Discord support hotline.

As far back as June, during her job interview for a Media Marketing Manager position at Germany’s longest-running science fiction franchise, she had already “warned” her prospective employer about the “crazy stalker from Africa.” A preemptive strike designed to neutralize any future attempt I might make to warn her next target. She had planned every last detail and set about putting her plan into action. First she called me from Stuttgart airport on August 24th and began future faking me for almost 3 hours with fantasies of when I would arrive there to finally be with her. This was meant to get my hopes up. 

Then, on August 26th, 2024, our first anniversary, L.O. finally ghosted me. She blocked every channel of communication and treated me as if I had never existed. She had often threatened never to speak another word to me again. This time she followed through on that promise. I was never to hear another word from her again. I had been expecting it, especially after the obvious, almost theatrical future-faking she performed so clumsily at Stuttgart Airport just days before. The discard did not happen spontaneously. It was the culmination of a long-running psychological operation, deliberately planned and choreographed, executed with precision. It's purpose: to emotionally destroy me and to position herself as the victim in any future telling of events. But she did not count on me recording every single interaction, documenting her manipulation and her attempts at setting herself up as the eventual victim.  

On the night of the 25th August 2024, I received two messages from L.O. In the first, she admits to deliberately postponing our meeting since January while lying to me about it. This is performative theater, and it's easy to tell she is just building a victim narrative while excusing her own immoral actions. She made these messages not as an act of self reflection, but to be able to point to them later and say: "You see? Look what he caused me to feel like!"

I am sharing these messages to prove that she lied. For nearly a year. Yet she kept blaming me for the delays, while she was causing them on purpose. Even the second message, meant to sound like a moment of introspection is nothing more than narcissistic manipulation. Created for third party readers it is an attempt to subtly place the blame for her "negative self view" on my shoulders. She is able to fool most people with her victimhood act. But anyone with experience of personality disorders like NPD will quickly recognize the hallmark signs of the disorder when reading or listening to these messages. Within hours of sending me these messages she was emailing me long legal letters threatening me and accusing me of terrorizing her and destroying her life.

The Setup and the Silence: How She Orchestrated the Final Discard

Phase One: Emotional Setup

In the first message she admits to having  lied for almost a year, blaming my response to her constant lying and postponements as the reason for her continued evasiveness. Understand that she admits to postponing for almost a year, because she didn't want to admit it, yet she blames me for this. There was never any physical danger to her, I live 8000km away, so I have no idea what she was "terrified" of. When you read how she insulted, disrespected and humiliated me you have to wonder if this is the same person talking.

Voices are AI generated and are for illustration only. 

Take for example the second message. It seems more honest than the first, until you realize that only 20 minutes later she was sending me a pre-written legal notice via email threatening me with 'arrest and legal action". She did not have the foresight to think I would keep these time stamped emails. In the very same email her tone is that of the victim, terrified and helpless, showing how easily she put on the 'victim mask'. 

Voices are AI generated and are for illustration only. 

At the time, I already knew the messages were not really heartfelt, there was no moment of honesty and regret. In reality, they were carefully staged. They were designed for later use: to show others, and to control the narrative.

Those two messages were not about closure. They were tools to support a pre-planned narrative: that I had driven her to psychological collapse. That she was the victim who needed protection.

Phase Two: Total Silence

Silence was her strategy. Supposed to leave me in a state of confusion and emotional devastation, and together with my phobia of abandonment it should have caused me to unravel. I was aware of what she was at this point. But I did not know what tactics she was planning on using. She meant to destroy me. And to do that, she struck at precise points of vulnerability with calculated timing.

The 26th of August wasn’t random, it was our first anniversary, a date she knew should carry deep emotional weight for me. The airport scene just days earlier was meant to give me hope, to reignite connection, so that the final discard would tear it away again with maximum emotional force. It had the desired effect of making me react. Had I been more aware of the purpose of her actions I could have prevented my predictable responses. As it was all I knew was that I was devastated and desperate to talk to her. Trauma bonding in action. I began writing her emails. Becoming ever more desperate for a response, any response, I became abusive. I could see she was reading the emails but that she chose not to answer them. I was emotionally devastated and seeking closure, but for three months she said and did nothing. 

Phase Three: The Final Blows

Barely two weeks after ghosting me, she took a selfie with her 'ex boyfriend' Dom, not far from the Hotel we were supposed to have been staying at.  He would briefly set it as his profile image on Telegram weeks later during the hacking.

This was no accident. She wanted to be sure I saw it. She wanted me to know that she had done all this deliberately. I know this because it is her hand holding the camera. But this selfie was just another part of her setup. It was all calculated and planned.

Not Confused

She was fully aware of what she was doing. Cognizant. Not unstable. Just truly and deeply malignant. Sadistic, deliberate, and driven by the satisfaction of knowing I would one day piece it all together. It was all part of her plan for revenge, for the narcissistic injury I had caused her when she was banned from PIKA. 

This was never chaos. It was a plan to destroy my sanity and my life. She did all these things to a man twice her age from Africa, who had committed the cardinal sin of believing her, of trusting her. These were not random acts. They were all part of the same deliberate operation, emotional manipulation, narrative control, and psychological destabilization. She may not have succeeded in scamming me for 20 000 euros. But her revenge was just getting started.

The Purpose of the Final Messages

The final two messages. Their true purpose was never to explain. They were written as a final act of narrative engineering: an alibi in emotional form. A script for future retelling.

She knew I would keep them. She knew I would re-read them, search them for meaning, question myself, and hopefully be destabilized by the contradiction between the words and her disappearance. She didn’t just ghost me. She launched a psychological strike and walked away without looking back. Discarding me like a piece of worthless trash was her way of letting me know that I didn't even exist for her. That I meant nothing and never did. 

The email below was received shortly after the messages above. 

Premeditated as was everything else. Everything was planned in advance to cause the maximum amount of emotional pain. The email is  sterile and full of blame and threats.

But she was just getting started

L.O. had this pre made letter ready to send on the day she ghosted me. When she sent this to me she was already busy planning my hacking as well as laying the false charges that would come later. She was in the process of criminally stealing my passwords when she sent me this.